Looking back

I want to use this last post of the month March to
go back to March 1, when I wrote a confession.

I wrote about quitting my anxiety and panic medication.
Immediately it was really hard, having all sorts of withdrawal
symptoms and for 10 long days it almost seemed like it
wasn't going to end and I almost fell back to it, but didn't
and I'm so happy about that now! I feel like I have my Joris,
my family, my friends and you to thank for it!
I know that in the end I did it myself but all the people
around me helped me so much!

All the medication should be out of my blood about
now and I definitely notice changes. Changes I don't
like, but also changes I do like.

I don't like that I jump every time I hear a loud or
unexpected sound, or that big groups of people
make me very uncomfortable and blushing.
Sometimes a panic attack sneaks up to me...
But I can work with it!

I do like that I have all my emotions back, though it's
sometimes very weird that I start crying out of nowhere.
But I'm also laughing loud and hysterically and one time
so bad I spit out all of my drink :D.

Meanwhile I got a new look, a new camera, spring,
and... Pride.

Tomorrow is a new month, and the beginning of
living without medication and learning to cope with it.
I'm eager for it!

Thank you all :)!



  1. ohhhh, so MANY congratulations to you!

  2. wat fijn dat je er vanaf bent. het lukt je vast wel!

  3. It's so nice to hear that it is better with you, and that you can work with the uncomfortable things. You go girl, you can do it!

  4. I have only one thing to say: :D

  5. You've come a long way...Kippevel om dit te lezen!
    Je bent een kanjer. En zo goed op weg. Ik wens je net zoals de lente veel groei en bloei-mogelijkheden. ENJOY. Lieve groet met hart&ziel van Sil.

  6. Keep up the great work, and take it one step at a time. You are so lucky to have wonderful support! Go girl!

  7. Whauw heel knap! keep it up girl!

  8. Goed van je, Nikki! Knap! Goed dat je in jezelf gelooft en fijn dat je zoveel steun krijgt! :D xx!

  9. Good for you!! Knap van je hoor. Wat zul je trots zijn!